The definition of Self-doubt is: “The Lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities”
Wondering leaves me feeling sombre, I sense I am about to slide into a dark hole and assume any security in my life will sink with me. I often find myself sitting and wondering… what if I can’t do it, what if people don’t like me; what if their feelings aren’t real, what if these words and actions aren’t legitimate… I learnt at a young age to question myself; my parents were great, always encouraging and supportive of my adventures but once I got to school I knew I was different, both the way I looked and my character, and it was only a matter of time before other children picked up on this and the bullying began.
Self-doubt is a vicious circle for me – I doubt myself, I work up the courage to try; sometimes I succeed but sometimes I need to pick myself up and try again; it’s this failure or rejection that cuts deep and leaves a mental scar. I fear before I have even begun. I fear projects at work, I fear achievements in the gym, I fear the risk of personal relationships and probably the most obvious is – I fear social situations; I spend hours choosing “the perfect” outfit which drives my partner mad when I constantly seek his approval, I overthink communications before I meet anyone almost scripting what I am going to say, I use route planner to make sure I am there on time but then decide it’s fashionable to be late so wait around for ages, I am terrified of babies and children in case they cry or don’t find me fun to play with… The list could go on and on!
Recently I have discovered the importance of reminding myself that the constant nagging feeling inside is only self-doubt rearing its ugly head and it’s actually a worthy feeling to have; after all if I had zero ounces of self-doubt it’d be extremely unhealthy. I have steps in place that I replay in my head:
- Take timeout with company
Take a break from whatever I doubt to talk with friends, family and colleagues – they INSPIRE my strength, courage and ambitions.
- No more excuses
Forget the fear of failing – jump in with 2 feet and be brave, if I am PREPARED I am ready to try.
- Do what is right for me
Stop relying on input, advice and validation from others – I have my own voice, my own opinion and I TRUST my values.
- Remember the good stuff
COUNTERACT negative thoughts with achievements, things I am proud of, things that I like about me.
The only person that stands between me and success is me!
Comment with your experience of self-doubt… Am i alone?